A Whole Lot of Sanctity in this Life

Recently I've felt like every time I see the news or facebook, issues arise about the value of life. From Death with Dignity to the acceptance of Post Birth Abortions on the rise on college campuses, I feel like our society is missing the big picture. My Facebook feed has been over taken by stories that make my skin crawl at the ease in which life is just thrown away.

The first time I saw a story about a woman on reddit write a letter to the baby she was aborting, my heart wept for this woman. Then later the story kept popping up with people commending her and wanting abortion acceptance to be more wide spread. Calling her story enlightening, brave, and encouraging for other women struggling with this issue. Many feminists are calling for this mentality to be more wide spread. That as a society we should strive to accept a story this beautiful.

We should also consider Death with Dignity to be the bravest move a person with a terminal illness could make. Reading Brittney Maynard's story is a story of bravery. But different than the way the media wants it portrayed. I see bravery in a husband who stands beside a person knowing they are going to take their life. I see bravery in parents who had to come to terms with their daughter giving up the fight. That story is so tragic and heartbreaking but we are called by media to regale this as the new face of bravery.

However, here's the thing. I don't answer to the media. I don't answer to feminists calling for the acceptance of abortions. I don't answer to doctors who want to debate when life truly begins. I answer to the Creator of the Universe, to a Savior who willingly handed His sinless body over as a sacrifice so that I could spend eternity in heaven. I answer to His love letter that He wrote for all who wants to know Him in an intimate, personal way.

All you have to do is read Psalms and
Jeremiah to see how God feels about our lives. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. And according to Jeremiah He knows the plans He has for us. If He has plans for us before we are even born, then that means no person is a mistake!

There may be surprises, there may be unexpected for us, but there is no such thing as an accident or mistake when it comes to a human life. As a Christian I believe we are to speak the truth. Not in a shaming or accusing way. We all make mistakes, some are just more visible than others. It should always be done in love. However, if we don't start speaking up, the world will never know it's view point is wrong. They will never understand the heavenly implications of the things they do. Human life will continue to be something that can be throw to the side the moment it becomes and inconvenience or hard.

Everyone faces challenges. I pray that I never have to face the battle that Brittney Maynard did. I believe wholeheartedly she made what she believed was the best decision. However,  to me, Death with Dignity is still suicide. It's taking into your hands what God has control of. There may be struggle in death but I pray if ever in that situation the Christ would work through me to touch people who would have never known Him otherwise.

I also pray that I begin to have a love and compassion for women who believe abortion is the only option. I pray for courage to speak up in a way that shares the plans of God without casting judgement or driving that person away.

I pray that as a society we begin to lift up the single mother who could have ended her child's life but didn't. Or the couple who adopted even though they could have their own children, allowing God to use them for His plans. That we encourage the mother of a special needs child who puts his quality of life above the original expectations they had of their family. To the 30 year old suffering from aggressive cancer. To the older women in a nursing home, wishing their family would come to visit.

Sanctity of life does not end the month a mother gives birth. It's not about having less abortions. It's about valuing everyone around you so much that Christ can be seen in your love. It's about sacrificially giving up what you thought life should be and instead embracing God's plans. It's about encouraging people making the hard decisions about quality of life. Remembering that Christ suffered and died on the cross that we might have life and have it more abundantly. It's time to embrace that promise He made and live like we believe it.

A Love Letter to Barksdale

So I should be packing. I really should get off of my couch and get to my bedroom and begin doing as much as possible. There's not a lot of time left and even though I have done so much, it's been mushrooming. I look around and it seems like I haven't done anything. But I'm finding I can't do much more right now.

These past few weeks I have spent so much time in prayer, tears, and desperation. I feel like God is leading the way, but I am constantly pulling and clinging to what is familiar. I know where He is leading is right, it always is. I also know in a few weeks this panic feeling will leave and I will be able to rest in the assurance that my God makes no mistakes. That His hand is always sovereign. He sees the big picture, whereas I see a little snapshot. Doesn't make it easier,  but it does make it worth while.

Tomorrow I say goodbye to my church and church family. I've prayed for strength but just thinking about it sends me a little deeper into overwhelming sadness. Barksdale Baptist church has been more than a church. It has been my family. They have taught me the Bible, shown me the grace of God, and allowed God to work in them to such an extent that I cannot image another church like it. Through childhood, mistakes, and sins,  I've been surrounded by a forgiving family. People that believe in second chances,  that truly live the Red Letters, and are always eager to help people grow.

Most of the church members will never read this, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't need to be said. There have been men that have been a living example to my husband about what it means to be the spiritual head of the household. There have been women who love and nurture my son, praying for him to have a future grounded in the love of Christ. This is a church family that doesn't need to simply preach the love of Christ, because they know it, they live it, and they show it to those of us lucky enough to worship alongside them.

I've been here since I was in third grade maybe? I've helped my mom with Wednesday night suppers. I've seen us move buildings, follow the Lord's leading, and grow in ways I never thought possible. I've been so lucky to worship with my dad leading me. For years my mom taught my Sunday school and only left to teach Kolton's. I've sat next to best friends, strangers,  and people who have become my family. At my wedding and baby showers I came home and cried at the outpouring that was so above expectations that I couldn't handle it.

This is will be the first time,  other than my time in college, that I will have to change churches. My heart aches at the thought of telling all of my dear family goodbye. Of walking out of the doors of the church that grew me. Gave me the courage to find my niche and encouraged me. Bible studies, fellowships, and festivals aren't just precious memories,  they were learning experiences about what Christ expects from His bride. All of this first hand. Everything gained. Nothing was ever lost by walking through those doors. Every Sunday I felt the Lord, I saw Him on the faces of all the dear people who helped raised me.

As I sat on my knees crying my eyes out I pray for comfort. For understanding. This church raised me, but in a way it's been a crutch. I will always be Rob and Robins daughter. I will always be underneath the shadow of what I've grown from. Tomorrow God is going to grow me. He's allowing me to take all of the love and strength bestowed to me by these wonderful people and challenge me to live it!  To push my boundaries. Find my own ministries. To lean on Him and acknowledge that the dreams of who I want to be in Him, don't have to be dreams. I know if I follow Him, I will grow into the Christian woman He expects me to be. It's time to leave my crutch at Barksdale and forge new relationships. To find new areas to work in His will.

This is where I grew up. Where I found me. I may not have been saved there but I came to know the Lord in such an intimate amazing way that I will never be the same. I feel like Moses leaving the mountain. Mine eyes have seen the Glory of the Lord indeed. In the face of every person who has loved us in that church. You will never know the impact you've had on my life. I hope I make you proud when I move. But I will always keep you close to my heart, in my prayers, and on my mind.

Encouraging a Selfless Experience

Recently,  I've read or come across so many people in our culture that claim to share the message of Christ,  yet miss the mark. Whether it's ignorance with misinterpreting scripture, love of self that makes them willing to exult themselves above God, or its blatantly leading other people astray by your own ambitions, none of this is acceptable. Since our world is living in this terrible, horrible place of politically correctness, it's so easy to read something and think, "Wow,  that sounds great". The truth is, the majority of people in the mainstream media are wolves in sheep's clothing. Then some are blatantly wolves and do not care to hide their selfishness. Wanting to be on a pedestal. The moment that anything you write, say,  or share becomes about making a name for yourself and not honoring God, you allow the devil to work his way into your message.

I think recently, especially the more politically correct people try to be, the more we hear questionable things. I'm sure I will offend people, make people hate me, but this has been on my heart for quite sometime. This post has been written and deleted so many times because I don't want to upset people. However, I can't put it off anymore.

I want to say, I do not stand with hating people. I do not stand with mistreating others. I surely do not stand with ostracizing people because of their sins. Christ died on the cross and conquered death to overcome EVERY sin. Not just sins I think are forgivable,  or you deem worthy. The cross took care of everything. All you have to do is ask Jesus to save you, and you can be forgiven. However,  at some point, especially recently, this has been altered.

Rob Bell wrote a book called Love Wins which essentially says that God would not send anyone to hell. That a loving God would not go through the process of the cross just to allow people to go to hell. Even the Bible says that every name will confess the power of Christ. That is so far from the truth that it's painful to even read. It makes me sad because I know that numerous people will read this, think is sounds great, and follow that wrong theology.  The truth is so much greater than that. Yes we serve a loving God. Only a loving God would take the price of sin upon himself. Only a loving God would make forgiveness and the way to heaven as easy as it is. Only a loving God would die FOR EVERY SIN AND EVERY PERSON.

However God believes in free will. We have the choice to accept the Bible and Christ's forgiveness in its entirety. We also have the choice to live as if he doesn't exist. We can choose to put ourselves above God, worship man and to risk our eternity. We have the ability to choose a life that exults ourselves and to forgo the cross. If we choose the latter, just like every choice there are consequences. The consequence is an eternity separated from Christ. Our God is a jealous God. We will reap what we sow if we live a life that is completely negligent of Christ and all He has done.

We are not bought with a price, just to lay back and allow things to fall as they will. I choose every day to wake up and in my error filled humanity to live my life against the entirety of the Bible. I've slipped up, I've lived in sin. I have had consequences of sin that were visible to the world around me. However I've chosen to use those as ways to point back to Christ.

I think our culture has bought into so many lies. The lie that if it makes you feel good, do it. The lie that church and those experiences are not for God, but to make us happy. The truth is, the Bible calls for a sacrifice of praise. That takes effort and work and if it is a true sacrifice,  then there is no place to exult yourself in it. We've bought into the lie of God hates the sin but loves the sinner. We are doing people around us a disservice by not saying that God judges the sinner. We live in a world, where you cannot point out sin without people accusing you of being hateful. This world that we are living in has blatant disregard for what the Bible lines out as sexual sins, immorality,  and evil doings. Selfish acts, self worship, and false teachings have become the norm.

I personally have a few people that just seeing their names make me cringe. Refusing to preach on hell or sin makes you a false teacher. I encourage you to be on point. To read and abide by the Bible in its entirety. Be leery of people who have a tendency to pick and choose scriptures. Know the difference between love in Christ and being afraid to step on toes. Encouragement is wonderful, but be careful not to fall prey to motivational type preachers. If your prayer and worship is being done to make you happy, and that is encouraged, please take a step back!  It's called sacrifice for a reason. Please do not fall prey to the self centered religious ideas that are all too common these days. 

The Common Cross

I have a rocking chair in my living room. It's an odd color green, very worn, and sits very low to the ground. In fact there's almost no padding left in the cushion. But, if Little Bit starts getting too rough on this chair I lose my mind. Because this chair, means the world to me.

It belonged to my Mimi. There's pictures of her rocking me in it. Over the years I've rocked cousins in it. And once my son was born, we spent so many hours in that chair. The warm and fuzzies I get from knowing the history of this chair are unexplainable.

I feel certain we all have something like that. Maybe it's priceless China. Or a book from a loved one. Or a blanket so disheveled it could fall apart if you even look at it wrong (my husband's green blanket is a perfect example). We hold these artifacts close to our hearts. We get upset when someone says something bad, we keep them in plain sight and love to talk to people about the history and meaning of these things.

We do everything we can to keep these items from becoming commonplace. Pass down the meaning from generation to generation. Holding items in high esteem and treating them that way even if they cost nothing to us. We never want to lose how important these things are to us.

However, how many of us treat the Cross of Christ like this? If you belive that Jesus Christ died on the cross to save us from an eternity separated from God, then the cross should be revered. But so often we see it hanging on walls with cute sayings, often times it's in a stain glass window at church, or something that rises out of a tragedy that people cling to. Such as the cross at Ground Zero at 9/11.

I'm so guilty of this mentality. I collect crosses. I couldn't tell you how many times walking through Hobby Lobby or a flea market I've stopped and said, "how cute is that cross". Now, I'm not saying that having crosses around your home is wrong. Or that you should immediately take them all down. I honestly, love that my crosses have verses and hymns to remind me through out the day where my focus should be. However this opens us up to being desensitized. Allowing the cross to just become a symbol that decorates our home; not a statement that saves our souls.

The truth is, the cross was brutal. Christ who was already weak and beaten had to carry His cross up to Golgatha to be killed. They took what was already a brutal death and intensified it by nailing Him instead of tying Him to the cross. He was mocked,  ridiculed, all the while with a crown of thorns around His brow. Not gingerly placed there, but pressed and pushed into His head so that he bled. His side was pierced while people sat and gambled for His robe.

Physically,  I can't even imagine how painful this would be. I can't even begin to comprehend the torture or exhaustion. But even worse than that. The emotional pain. Not just from the people mocking him. But because He was forced to take on every sin that had been committed and every sin that would be committed. As a result of that, God could not look upon Jesus. Christ since the beginning of time has been in the presence of God the Father, but at that moment that he took on your sins, God had to abandon Him because of His holiness.

2 Corinthians 5:21 says Christ was sinless, but He became sin so we could have eternal life. He basically became sin so he could defeat sin. I think often times we hear the story so frequently we forget the brutality of it. We forget to acknowledge the amazing grace that the cross brings to us. We gloss over so many details.

The truth is, the cross bridged a gap for us. Kept us out of hell. The cross of Christ keeps us from having to sacrifice constantly because we will never be good enough for heaven. We can stop keeping score of all the wrong things verses right things. We can never be good enough to win heaven. But that's okay. The cross did it for us!!

The reality of the cross can be so easily overlooked. I pray that for you, it never becomes commonplace, though. That you are constantly amazed by its power. That hearing The Old Rugged Cross will bring tears to your eyes!! That the cross would be anything but common in your life.

Here's Hoping you DON'T Get What you Deserve

Every few years it seems like pop culture generates a new phrase. Most of the time I find these to be obnoxious but not harmful. Just a little annoying. Remember in the early 2000s when the answer to anything was Whatzzzzup. More recently we've been blessed with gems such as YOLO and You mad bro? The second of which I do not understand yet a year ago at a concert I saw at least 6 shirts with that on it.

However, I've been noticing a trend. Whether it's on the comments of a news article or the personal rants of a status update, there have been numerous outpourings of this phrase.  If you've ever uttered this phrase, you are not alone. This has been something I've thought numerous times, until last night. When God all but yelled at me at the reality of what I was implying.

"I hope you get what's coming to you", "one day God will give you what you deserve", or "you'll get yours".  Have you thought these things about someone? I have. More than once. If I'm especially upset I've even taken comfort in fact that God will judge people who have wronged me.

However last night I was struck with what the true implications of those phrases are. These phrases are basically saying, "I hope God unleashes His full judgement on you". What is God's full judgement and punishment? Eternity completely separated from the Creator of the Universe because of sin. Godly retribution is to turn His back on people that do not know Him.

I do not wish God's judgment on my life. I've read the Old Testament, I know Israel's history and God's anger towards them. The thought of even an iota of that judgement makes me quake. I deserve His judgement, but I have escaped it. I accepted Christ as my Savior and now I will never have to spend eternity separated from the Lord. Yet, I'm basically wishing that the Lord will not forgive people who have wronged me. To wish for them to never know the Lord and what He has in store for them. For that one mistake against me to be the deciding factor for their eternity.

If you read through the prophets in the Old Testament, you will see where the Lord consistently calls a warning to his people. However, before or after the warning, God calls His people to redemption. REPENT AND TURN FROM YOUR WAYS. God does not want to send people to hell. If He did, wouldn't it have been easier for Him to judge Cain when he killed Abel? Instead, God marked Cain so no one would kill him, to give him time to repent and turn towards God. If God wanted to unleash wrath upon us, why send His Son to die a brutal harsh death, experiencing the abandonment of God, so we could be forgiven? I don't know about you, but to me that sounds like drastic measures to give us a second chance.

Now that I have reevaluated that phrase I've begun to realize how truly hateful the implications are. Do I honestly wish that a former friend would spend eternity separate from God because we had a fight two years ago? Do I truly wish that hateful boss would go the rest of his life without learning of the redemptive powers of Christ? Am I really sitting at home hoping that family member I'm on the outs with will never experience God's love and fellowship? 

The truth is Christ died for me the same He died for you. The white lie I told a bill collector was on the weight of His shoulders when God turned His back from Christ. The curse you yelled while driving to work was the same as the crowd shouting "crucify him". The murderer on death row was the reason Christ wore a crown of thorns. Howver, thankfully that's not the end of the story. Our eternities were the reason He arose and conquered death. I deserve it as much as you do, because NO ONE DESERVES IT. It is a free gift.

However, to wish that someone gets what's coming to them is to wish they never receive that gift. I should be so much more concerned with showing who Christ is, than to be wrapped up in personal vendettas. Because the truth is, we all deserve to be separated from Christ. The idea that someone might wish me to spend eternity in darkness is heart breaking.

I pray this might encourage you. That you would see how truly painful and damaging words can be. I hope this breaks your heart for the people that we've wished this upon. If together we consciously started changing our mindset towards sinners,  how many people would come to know Christ's forgiveness through us? I encourage you to have an eternal mindset that will carry on into your relationships. To let the next transgression slide off of your back. To give second, third, and fourth chances. Because we serve a God of second chances, and I don't know about you, but I want to be as much like Him as possible.

What's Behind Your Couch

I don't know if you have had the pleasure of experiencing the insanity of an 18 month old, but it is unlike anything I've ever seen before. My son has one particular hobby that takes place before anything else. Pushing toys off the back of the couch. It seems a little mundane to me, but hey, I guess that's like going to six flags for this kid. Sometimes I swear he plays with things he knows I'll take away and put on the back of the couch, just so he can shove it in that crack between the wall and the couch.

Every time he does that I cringe a little. Then I get frustrated because it's not like I can pull that couch out while he's awake. I tell myself, oh I'll get it when he goes to bed. However,  I get swept away in that glorious feeling of knowing I can eat my Hershey bar without dirty hands begging for it.

Well last night, I realized all of my hair brushes were missing. I mean all!  No combs, no picks, no teasing brushes, nada. I even desperately was looking for a baby brush to help with my bangs, but those, too, were missing. I had no other choice than to slide the couch back in search of a hair taming device.

Let me tell y'all,  it was BAD! I mean, the instant shame and revolt and dread and fear at what I would find, was overwhelming! I feel ashamed just to tell you some of the things I found. However I will let you use your imagination. I have an 18 month old obsessed with brushes, spoons, and q-tips, a husband,a chef who enjoys a pb&j tortilla like it's a delicacy,  and I eat more Hershey bars than I'm comfortable admitting. Insert imagination here.

It was so bad I almost took a picture. But I could not bear the idea of there being evidence of this shameful part of my home. Even if I never showed anyone the picture, I'd know it was there. And that was too much!

It got me to thinking, though, how much that is like life. How many things do we keep pushing off behind the couch? How many sins, secrets, and confessions are hidden under things so that no one can see them? How fearful are we of pulling those protective layers off, seeing the damage, and admitting we need help to fix it?

I spend a lot of my time on Sunday mornings fixing my hair, doing my makeup, picking out an outfit. Getting Kevin and Kolton ready. Trying to appear in a good mood. I want to look put together. I don't want anyone to think about me the things I think about me. I don't want to appear frazzled. I wanted a husband and a child, so at church you say how thankful you are and what a blessing life is.

So we only show people the clean side of our couch. I keep the same front up at church that I show to strangers. But that is not how it is supposed to be. 1 Thessalonians 5:11a says, "Let us encourages one another and build each other up".

How can we build each other up, if we do not know where that person is struggling?  Where I need encouragement changes from day to day, sometimes minute to minute. There are times I need to hear,  "my house was a wreck when my children were this age, too" but tomorrow I might need to hear "it's okay that it was too crazy to on makeup this morning, you look beautiful without it".

At church and around our close Christian friends, it's time we allow them to build us up. To do that, we have to pull the couch back, show the mess, ask for help, and not be ashamed. Everyone has something that they are hiding from visitors. And that's fine, but we don't need to hide them from everyone. The Savior of the World wants to let you know, he's not ashamed of what you are. But, he does offer redemption,  hope, fresh starts, and grace.

Every time I look at my freshly cleaned couch area (for this week at least) I'm going let that be a reminder. A visual aide of the things Christ has available for me! The way He could build me up and clean things out if I just would not be afraid to move the couch.

Where are Your Gifts Used?

What if you sang really well? What if your voice was pitch perfect, smooth, and when you opened your mouth it was if the clouds rolled back and the heavens parted just to shine a light on your voice? Most people sing, even if it's just in the shower, but few people have a voice that is show stopping. How I would give for a voice like that.

But what if you had a voice like that, but you only sang at your home when no one else was around. The only people hearing your beautiful gift, were you and God.

That's okay though, right? This is a gift from God and I'm turning my gift around to sing praises to Him,  so I know I'm glorifying Him. He gave me this gift of song, so I know my voice is pleasing to Him.

There is truth in that. The Lord loves to see us use the gifts He has given to us, that's why they're called gifts! But how sad to know that when you stay at home, you miss fellowship with other believers, and when you allow other people to do what you have been called to do, you miss out on the rich blessings the Lord has for you. By keeping your gift to yourself, you have told God what He is allowed to do in your life. You are limiting His hand in your life.

1 Corinthians 12 describes how the Spirit distributes gifts and how we are all working together with a heavenly perspective. I encourage you to read it, to learn how important it is to share the gifts God has given us.

In the privacy of our own home, far from the judgemental eyes of people around us is where we feel most comfortable to give back to God what He has given us. But that is not our calling. Our blessings come from when we push past our comfort zones and give all we have to Him.

To me a perfect example of this is when you were in school and had to do group projects. Ideally, everyone had a role to play. They would do everything asked on the correct time frame and no person would have to do more than her partners. However,  reality was always different. You would have one person, say an artist, who wouldn't do their part. So the person who was going to do the research volunteers to do the art work. They aren't good at it, they are a bundle of nerves until the project is turned in. But, they are willing to help, and knows the person who is the artist isn't going to do their job. So they do what is necessary. It isn't bad, but it's not the best. It get the job done, but isn't the most professional work done.

If the church was a group project, which member would you want to be? Most people would say, I'd rather be the person who does both jobs. My viewpoint is slightly different. I'd rather a church that worked ideally. Where we all came together, worked within our gifts, pushed boundaries, and pushed each other forward. I want to feel confident in what I'm doing. If my gift is my voice,  I want to find someone who can play the piano and someone who is great with adolescents and let's start a youth choir.

Everyone has their gifts and they can be used in unexpected ways. BUT, they can never be used in an unexpected ways if you do not push yourself to use it in a public setting. If the only place you allow your gifts to be seen is alone in your home, that means some one in your church is doing a "make do" job in the area you really could excel in. You are telling God, I appreciate what you have given me, but I will decide how it is used.

Instead, pray on your gifts. Ask God to show you new ways to step outside of that comfort zone. How much more fulfilling could your life be if you allowed God to point you in the directions your gifts should take you? How many more rewards could you have in heaven, if you lived with that perspective every day?

I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes. A thought that keeps me moving when I feel like God is pushing me towards something I'm unsure of. Erma Bombeck said, "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left. That I could say, I have nothing left, I used it all.