Searching out "These Women"

I've made some very poor decisions in my life. Some I purposefully went against what I knew was right. Some, on the other hand, were mistakes of ignorance. Times I thought I was doing right, but did not find out until later how wrong I really was.
One of these mistakes is with friendships. I can honestly say I was a freshman in college before I found the Biblical definition of a friend. That person that matches everything they tell you in church that you should find in friends. However my eyes still were not open. I thought Leslie was a dying breed. An endangered species. Something to be treasured above all other relationships but to look for another friend like her would be foolish.

So what did I do? I kept up other relationships. Some were toxic, some were not, they just weren't what I needed. I knew how to be a good friend, I'd bend over backwards for anyone I knew. It kept seeming like I was being used over and over again though.

After a very bad time in my friendships, I lost all faith. The person I thought was my best friend was so toxic, she would harass me and turn on me for the slightest indiscretion in her mind. I spent years tip toeing around her to not have that feeling. I felt so inferior. She had no problem telling me what a horrible and selfish person I was. I was beaten down, lonely, and beginning to believe that I was the worst friend possible.

Soon after I hit rock bottom in that relationship, something amazing happened. At church I opened up to a girl in my Sunday school about how toxic this relationship was. Suddenly she became a strong influence in my life. We started dating our husbands at the same time, we survived multiple changes in our lives, and we were so blessed to have our babies at the same time! God truly is good. She opened my eyes to the fact that good, Godly, and encouraging friends like Leslie were not one in a million! Instead they are there waiting for other rich, meaningful friendships.

Since I learned my lesson and began searching out Godly women to share my friendship, God has blessed me so richly. He has put amazing women in my path. At one point I believed the majority of friendships were only for a season. That people came in and out of you life. However since I let go of toxic relationships and started seeking out what God wanted for me, I have made more lifelong friends than I thought possible. These women in my life I love so dearly. I trust them enough to let them in on personal struggles and never once have they used that information against me. I've raised Kolton with their children, found role models for my marriage. I've also began taking more value in myself as a friend.

God created us to be social beings. We have a very innate longing to be around people. We want to let people in and share our thoughts and dreams and problems with other people. However,  I encourage you to be careful. Not everyone is looking for the things you are. Guard your heart. Look for friends in the right places. Don't believe the lies the enemy whispers in your ear. You do deserve good friends. There are plenty of women out there that hold your ideals and want to be the kind of friend you desire. The Lord wants you to have the encouragement and support that comes from women like these! Don't settle for less! And for all of "these women" I'm my life, I'm more thankful than you will ever know for the difference you've made in me!