I don't know if you have had the pleasure of experiencing the insanity of an 18 month old, but it is unlike anything I've ever seen before. My son has one particular hobby that takes place before anything else. Pushing toys off the back of the couch. It seems a little mundane to me, but hey, I guess that's like going to six flags for this kid. Sometimes I swear he plays with things he knows I'll take away and put on the back of the couch, just so he can shove it in that crack between the wall and the couch.
Every time he does that I cringe a little. Then I get frustrated because it's not like I can pull that couch out while he's awake. I tell myself, oh I'll get it when he goes to bed. However, I get swept away in that glorious feeling of knowing I can eat my Hershey bar without dirty hands begging for it.
Well last night, I realized all of my hair brushes were missing. I mean all! No combs, no picks, no teasing brushes, nada. I even desperately was looking for a baby brush to help with my bangs, but those, too, were missing. I had no other choice than to slide the couch back in search of a hair taming device.
Let me tell y'all, it was BAD! I mean, the instant shame and revolt and dread and fear at what I would find, was overwhelming! I feel ashamed just to tell you some of the things I found. However I will let you use your imagination. I have an 18 month old obsessed with brushes, spoons, and q-tips, a husband,a chef who enjoys a pb&j tortilla like it's a delicacy, and I eat more Hershey bars than I'm comfortable admitting. Insert imagination here.
It was so bad I almost took a picture. But I could not bear the idea of there being evidence of this shameful part of my home. Even if I never showed anyone the picture, I'd know it was there. And that was too much!
It got me to thinking, though, how much that is like life. How many things do we keep pushing off behind the couch? How many sins, secrets, and confessions are hidden under things so that no one can see them? How fearful are we of pulling those protective layers off, seeing the damage, and admitting we need help to fix it?
I spend a lot of my time on Sunday mornings fixing my hair, doing my makeup, picking out an outfit. Getting Kevin and Kolton ready. Trying to appear in a good mood. I want to look put together. I don't want anyone to think about me the things I think about me. I don't want to appear frazzled. I wanted a husband and a child, so at church you say how thankful you are and what a blessing life is.
So we only show people the clean side of our couch. I keep the same front up at church that I show to strangers. But that is not how it is supposed to be. 1 Thessalonians 5:11a says, "Let us encourages one another and build each other up".
How can we build each other up, if we do not know where that person is struggling? Where I need encouragement changes from day to day, sometimes minute to minute. There are times I need to hear, "my house was a wreck when my children were this age, too" but tomorrow I might need to hear "it's okay that it was too crazy to on makeup this morning, you look beautiful without it".
At church and around our close Christian friends, it's time we allow them to build us up. To do that, we have to pull the couch back, show the mess, ask for help, and not be ashamed. Everyone has something that they are hiding from visitors. And that's fine, but we don't need to hide them from everyone. The Savior of the World wants to let you know, he's not ashamed of what you are. But, he does offer redemption, hope, fresh starts, and grace.
Every time I look at my freshly cleaned couch area (for this week at least) I'm going let that be a reminder. A visual aide of the things Christ has available for me! The way He could build me up and clean things out if I just would not be afraid to move the couch.
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